I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Are we still banned from the library?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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