Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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