No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
