We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
