I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
