He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
