We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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