Sry I called you an 8
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
