you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
