Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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