did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
True strength comes from lack of pants
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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