If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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