I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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