Will you blow on my dice?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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