i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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