I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I have demons in me.
there's paper in my vomit.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
