Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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