Soap is not a condiment
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
