You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I cut my penus on the lid.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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