5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
