Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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