I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
NoShamevember. You game?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
