Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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