Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
