it hurts more in the daytime
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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