Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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