yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
