I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you made out with another girl for some wings
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
