y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
