I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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