WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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