yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
