arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
