worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
