Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
