Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
