i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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