I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
