what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
