thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
