He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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