Say something about gay babies.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
