Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Say something about gay babies.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
