its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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