The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
