he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
