Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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