went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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