You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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