I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have already put on my inside pants.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
