dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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