what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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