you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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