I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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