Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
