Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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